The Haps

What’s the haps on non-RV life? Wondering how my mental state is? Are we adjusting?

It’s been a little over three weeks since we parked the RV in our driveway and, to be honest, we all miss it. The girls miss living in the RV more than they thought they would and Shaun and I are feeling a little empty space outside of it. Not to say that we aren’t finding happiness in our life in our house, but it’s just a huge seismic shift in life all together.

Trying to explain what we are missing about our full-time life seems to give others the impression that we are unhappy in our life without wheels but that’s not the case at all. We are enjoying reconnecting with people, making new friends, lazy summer days, cooking in the big kitchen, the girls with their playroom/basement space, all of the farms, etc… However, the joy of just uninterrupted time together, way less stressors, people’s expectations of our time, exploring new places, and basically just going at our perfect pace is what we all miss most.

Look how happy we were on the road…

As I said last time I am focusing on being unbusy and practicing it at home is harder then in the RV but it is also creating a more family focused me than I have ever been in our sticks and bricks. Ok, let me rewind, anyone who knows me knows my family is who I am. What I mean is that I now let things I wouldn’t before go to the wayside and create more time centered and focused on my family. Having a perfectly clean house, all of the laundry done, no dishes in the sink, blah, blah, blah is so unimportant when I could be spending the days with my loves. I know in other parts of the country/world, it’s normal for people to just pop over other people’s houses but in NJ it’s just not what we do…thank God…and so I don’t have to worry about my house being perfect and it alleviates that issue. This house is a NO judgement zone anyway!

One of my current stressors is school starting. I loved having my babies with me all of the time. I know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea but it’s totally mine. 24/7 I want them with me and I had that for six and a half months and it was spectacular! We were done with school in 2 hours when we were roadschooling because there wasn’t anything/anyone in the way. Regular school is soooooo long and then homework UGH! It’s all so new too and I’m sending my babies into the unknown. Their old school was like a second home for us and I knew and trusted it there. I’m sure everything will be amazing and I’m praying for them so much but momma bear worries. On the fun side of school, Friday the girls got their teachers and they each have at least one person they know and get along with nicely in their classes! They also have people they know on their bus!

A few days ago, God popped by for a visit, not really but he made a little light in my day. We realized friends of ours that we lost touch with, but who we really like and also have a fifth grade girl, live about 1 block away! Shaun, who forgets everyone (don’t ever be offended, it’s just who he is), remembered them and liked them a lot too…mind blown. It was such a breath of fresh air! We’ve been connecting with some great people in town, our neighborhood, and locally.

While life isn’t all sunshine these days and we are dealing with A LOT of hard stuff also, we are trying to trust in God and find the rainbows after the rain. (Actually we almost need an arc with all of the rain we’ve been having in NJ). But I continue to ask you for prayers for my family as we live through a hard time, which I am still not ready to talk about, for a great school year for the girls, a smoother readjustment, unbusiness, and just life surrounded by love and genuine people.

So I leave you with this picture after I got the best haircut I’ve ever had on Saturday! Also had a mom morning (which usually is not allowed without the girls lol). Hair salon and Trader Joes with my momma…who could ask for a better Saturday morning?

(The one on the left is the before)

 

“Home”

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We are “home”. I use quotation marks for so many reasons, which I’ll share with you in the next paragraph. If you’ve followed our journey, we weren’t supposed to come back until early to mid-August. So why did we come home approximately 10 days early and skip Mount Rushmore and the Badlands? A most important family member needed us and that’s all I’m going to say about that for now respectfully (please keep my family in your prayers). We departed from the Grand Tetons on Sunday, August 22nd at 4:22pm and arrived home Tuesday, August 24th at 11:22pm. My husband, who drove the entire time and the entire journey, is my hero!

Ok so now for the reasons for the quotation marks: 1) Shaun going to work, 2) I miss Dani (my BFF who now lives in FL), 3) We barely lived here before we left on our journey so it’s unfamiliar, 4) Although I have lived in this, the same county, my entire life I am not super familiar with this particular town, 5) I have one friend in this town and that’s hard and scary thinking what if I don’t make friends here, 6) The girls have no friends in this town, 7) I miss living the RV life BIG TIME, 8) I don’t know where anything is in this TOO big house, 9) I HATE cleaning this TOO big house, 10) We miss exploring other places, 11) National Parks, 12), 13), 14), 15), 16), 17), 18), 19), and 20) I am TOTALLY missing having the four of us (and Gilmore) all to myself without sharing with anyone, school, life, work, etc… getting in the way!!!!!! This is by no means a whoa is me moment, I am beyond blessed for the too big house, my husband having a job, for a BFF who I love beyond words, we’ve seen and been places people dream of visiting, and I love the people I share my family with, but it’s a BIG adjustment.

On the plus side: 1) It’s the BEST being near the fam (especially when they NEED you), 2) I love having my big kitchen with all of the equipment, 3) Not rocking around in our home is kinda nice, 4) Not wearing shoes in the shower, 5) Not walking Gilmore, our pup, 6) Really great internet, Netflix and tv all of the time, 7) The deck, yard, trampoline, giant grill, etc…, 8) On hand washer, dryer and best of all, dishwasher, 9) Amazon Prime whenever I want, 10) Our library around the corner, 11) Dunkin Donuts (what’s up with the West coast’s aversion to DD?), 12) Farms with local goodness so close by, and 13) Not packing up, unpacking, and moving your home.

Not surprisingly, got home and all of the hub bub of the girls wanting their own space and rooms and…drumroll…they slept in each other’s rooms for eight days after we landed. It took us days to unpack the RV, unpack what we brought into the house, get everything cleaned up, organize the crap, get rid of a lot of what we easily lived without for six and a half months, and settle in. It was a super hero effort on my part, the girls helped best they could and we were done within a week. Not tooting my own horn, and don’t get me wrong our house is not in full order, but we are living here without any of my super anxious feelings when I walk into a room.

Living such an unbusy, limited cleaning stress, go where we want, no outside demands or plans, easy life has changed us. Our lifestyle, goals, dreams, daily to-dos are different than the average Joe around us. We don’t want to sign the kids up for a million activites/extracurriculars and they don’t want that either. We don’t want to make plans weeks in advance for anything at all. We don’t want to blast our calendar to fill our days. Having been the calendar queen (I had three) and now we are home and I haven’t changed the fridge whiteboard calendar from what it was left at in December/January. The only thing I’ve added to my Google calendar was upcoming school dates, my sister’s wedding events, and some appointments for a family member.

The life we lived before the journey is GONE and the four of us couldn’t be HAPPIER!

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Yesterday in church, God showed me how much he is present with us right now through this transition from RV to house, in our new journey to change the way we live, and in a tough emotional time in our lives. The sermon was about how enough is enough in our lives. I’m summarizing here but stockpiling things, money, and anything else is unnecessary and not in the way of trusting our Lord and Savior because He always provides. In Proverbs 30:9 states ” give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much”. Mind blown!

We had our first weekly family meeting last night. Starting with open conversation about how we are feeling, what we would like to change, and how to do better. This could involve our family, friends, or just about anything. I figure if we start this at ages 8 and 10, then down the road hopefully they’ll be more open to share in a safe environment when things are really serious. I tried to focus on how we are feeling back in NJ so far, what we miss about the RV and how we could bring it here, and how we can feel more comfortable when we are not so sure how to feel but definitely full of a lot of longing.

During our meeting I was so in awe of Natalie, and this isn’t a new feeling, but her security and confidence in finding new friends and being ok in her new school was inspiring. Finding new friends every time we moved in the RV and being so confident in approaching new, unfamiliar kids might have helped because the grade she was in at her old school had only approximately 12 girls in her entire grade and she was uber comfortable, cushy there. Her new school she’ll be in she’ll be in the elementary school for one year with Brie before entering Middle School and then multiple schools come together and a more varied pool of potential friends. I keep instillling in her that if she doesn’t click with anyone she doesn’t HAAAAAVE to be friends with anyone and can make friends with a larger pool of girls next year. It’s my job and goal to help my girls be more confident and secure in themselves, who they are deep down, allow them to speak openly to me, and share all of their life with me without fear.

Brie was the one on the journey that wanted to come home to start her new school so she could make friends in our new town. I think the reason was that she wanted Natalie to be there with her for the first year before Natalie went off to a different school. Brie was the advocate for coming home instead of continuing the journey any longer. However, now that the date of the new school year approaches and she realizes her BFF, Chi-Chi, won’t be with her as her partner in crime, the tides have shifted. It definitely helps for her to see Natalie so confident and ready to make friends, not so ready to go back to all the hours, homework and hubbub of school, but as ready as any kid is after summer break.

Four and a half weeks left until my whole world is really turned upside down. Shaun will be at work and the girls will be at school. My RV life, my happy place, and the best part of my life will be completely replaced by a semi-“normal” life.

So, this is the real of how we are adjusting so far. We have spent a lot of time with my mom and she’s our person, we’ve hiked which helped to be among nature and pretend we were on the journey again, we’ve cooked and baked up a storm and enjoyed the big kitchen and all things in it, we have visited a nursery and bought some herbs and fruit plants to start growing, a library visit was in order and we do love love our local library (which we didn’t have at our last town or on the journey), we introduced our air plants from the RV into our home and many hours have been spent on our trampoline, on our deck and enjoying our gorgeous outdoor space.

Oh what Shaun and I, and at a 60/40 ratio the girls too, would give to get back into the RV and continue our journey!